I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
