if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
