Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
