he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize