You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
