she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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