he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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