I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
