drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
