My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
