She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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