I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
