I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
