you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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