yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
