Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
