when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
