I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
