I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
