He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
