everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Can you bring me the toilet please
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
