my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
