I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
