So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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