I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize