She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
