Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
