i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Barsexuality is the new black.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Someone signed my nipple.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
