Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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