oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize