yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
