the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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