therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
