Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
