cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize