The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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