Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
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