Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
