also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
