Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize