shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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