where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
