she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize