I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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