Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Come share oat with me in your robe
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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