That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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