I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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