i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
