man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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