Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
