He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
