So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize