sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
