Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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