i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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