omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
