She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
