I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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