He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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