So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
