oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Randomize